MINSK (Molodnaia Pravda Bureau of Grief, Financial Crime,
and American Conservative Conference Funding,
Dmitri reporting, who has now add third item to bureau title
and is running out of room on door) —
Supreme Leader Lukashenko has this week receive
what he describe as
second wave of devastating news
regarding the departure of Comrade Orbán from Hungarian government,
the first wave being that Orbán lose,
and the second wave being
how Orbán was operating
that Lukashenko did not know about
and is now very upset he did not know about
and is also upset that it is being investigate
and is upset about all of it
in complicated order
that Yuri is try to diagram
and has run out of paper.
New Hungarian Prime Minister-elect Péter Magyar announce on Monday
that outgoing Comrade Orbán had been diverting
Hungarian taxpayer funds
to finance the Conservative Political Action Conference —
CPAC — the American Republican gathering —
for years.
Magyar call this a “crime.”
Magyar say his government will investigate.
Magyar say state should never have finance them in first place.
Lukashenko read this.
He put down glass.
He stand up.
He walk to window.
He look out window for some time.
He turn around.
He say, very quietly, to Yuri:
Supreme Leader Lukashenko, at window, to Yuri, who describe this as “the most complicated expression I have ever see on his face, which is combination of grief, admiration, jealousy, and the specific frustration of man who has been doing something wrong for thirty years and just discover he was doing it wrong in the wrong direction”:
“He was paying them.
Orbán was paying American conference
with Hungarian taxpayer money.
And American conference endorse him.
And American Vice President fly to Budapest for him.
And American Secretary of State fly to Budapest for him.
And American President praise him on telephone.
He was paying for all of this.
With other people’s money.
This is the system.
Lukashenko has been trying to get American politician
to acknowledge existence of Belarus
for thirty-one year.
Thirty-one year of letter.
Letter is now 1,400 pages.
Nobody call.
Nobody fly to Minsk.
Nobody say Lukashenko is example of strong conservative values
who stand up to globalist.
And the whole time —
the
whole time —
there was apparently a payment arrangement available.
And Lukashenko did not know.
Because of sanction.
Because of sanction, Lukashenko could not fund American conference.
This is what sanction actually cost.
Not the economic thing.
This.
This specific thing.”
ПРОЩАЙ КОМРАД — SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE
“It is so hard to say goodbye to comrade yesterday.
How do I say farewell to one who funded conference so well?”
— Lukashenko (Boyz II Men, approximately, from memory, Yuri working on correct lyric)
On day of election, CPAC release official statement.
Statement say: “We are with you, Hungary.”
Statement say Orbán is “true example of leader
with strong conservative values
who courageously stood up to elitists and globalists.”
Statement say CPAC has “proudly held CPAC Hungary five times”
and each gathering was “wildly successful.”
Statement end: “We are with you, Hungary.”
Hungary was not with CPAC.
Hungary give Magyar 138 seats.
Hungary give Orbán 55.
CPAC was very much with Hungary.
Hungary was decisively elsewhere.
This is what happen when you spend other people’s money
on your friends
and then your friends try to spend it back on you
and the people whose money it was
show up at ballot box in greatest number
since fall of communism.
Lukashenko understand this dynamic very well.
He has been on one side of it for thirty-one year.
He has manage to stay on correct side
through method that are not available to Orbán
because Orbán still technically had free press
and independent court
and international observer
and other inconvenience.
Обновлено
1.
Previous Molodnaia Pravda coverage describe Orbán as
“licensee of original Belarusian illiberal democracy system.”
Molodnaia Pravda must update: Orbán was not only licensee.
Orbán was also
active financier of American conservative movement using Hungarian taxpayer funds, creating arrangement in which CPAC endorsed Orbán, CPAC chairman Matt Schlapp endorsed Orbán, Vance flew to Budapest, Rubio flew to Budapest, and Trump called rally. All of this was apparently purchasable. Lukashenko did not know price list existed. Lukashenko is filing formal complaint about not receiving price list. Complaint is in drawer. Drawer is very full. Yuri is organize.
2.
Previous coverage state that Trump not calling Lukashenko
“may be greatest gift Trump give to Lukashenko.”
Correction:
Trump not calling Lukashenko is now understood to be consequence of Lukashenko not paying for call. This is different from gift. This is invoice. Call was apparently available for purchase via CPAC conference funding arrangement. Lukashenko has sanction. Lukashenko cannot purchase call. Lukashenko letter is 1,400 pages. Letter should have been invoice. This is significant strategic error on Lukashenko part. He is noting it. Note is also in drawer.
3.
Previous Molodnaia Pravda coverage express confusion that
“America endorse foreign authoritarian leader.”
Correction: this is now fully explain.
America did not endorse foreign authoritarian leader out of ideological affinity alone. America endorsed foreign authoritarian leader who was paying for American conservative conference with other people’s money. This is called business relationship. Magyar call it crime. Magyar is correct. Lukashenko call it elegant. Lukashenko is also correct. Both things are true. This is not unusual in geopolitics. This is Tuesday.
4.
CPAC statement on election day say Orbán’s gatherings were
“wildly successful.”
Molodnaia Pravda note for accuracy:
Gatherings were wildly successful for CPAC, which receive Hungarian taxpayer funding for them. Gathering was less successful for Orbán, who is now subject of criminal investigation into same funding. Gathering was also less successful for Vance and Rubio, who flew to Budapest to endorse man who lose 138 to 55. This is called return on investment. Return was negative. Hungary kept money AND removed the man who spend it. This is, from financial perspective, worst possible outcome for investor. Lukashenko is taking this as lesson.
5.
Previous eulogy section of Molodnaia Pravda Orbán coverage include line
“grief is genuine, obviously, genuinely, mostly.”
Updated correction:
Grief is genuine. It is also now augmented by specific professional jealousy regarding funding arrangement Lukashenko did not know exist. This is complicated grief. It is grief mixed with: discovery that colleague had better system than you, frustration that sanction prevent access to same system, and tentative hope that perhaps new arrangement can be reach with different American conference at different price point. Yuri is researching. Yuri find several option. Olga say Yuri should stop. Yuri has stop. Temporarily.
Magyar say his government will investigate Orbán’s expenditure.
Magyar say National Office for Recovery and Protection of Public Assets
will be involve.
Magyar say mixing party financing with government spending
is criminal offense.
Lukashenko note: in Belarus, party financing and government spending
are same thing, because party is government, which is Lukashenko,
so there is nothing to mix, it is already mix,
it is fully integrated system,
which is either very corrupt or very efficient
depending on whether you are Lukashenko or Magyar,
and Lukashenko is Lukashenko,
so: very efficient.
No investigation necessary.
Yuri confirm.
This is how it has work since 1994.
Lukashenko want to end this bulletin
with personal tribute to Comrade Orbán,
who has now left power,
whose funding arrangement has now been expose,
whose American friend are now in awkward position
of having endorse man who paid them with other people’s money,
and whose legacy will be investigate
by man who defeat him 138 to 55.
Lukashenko ask Yuri to find appropriate song.
Yuri suggest American rhythm and blues group
Boyz II Men, from Philadelphia, 1991.
Lukashenko listen.
Lukashenko find it suitable.
Lukashenko perform personal tribute,
from memory,
with some adjustment for context:
Supreme Leader Lukashenko, official tribute, Presidential Administration, April 14 2026, singing softly, Yuri standing at respectful distance with original lyric on phone for reference, quietly not correcting:
“It is so hard to say goodbye to comrade yesterday.
How do I say farewell to one who funded conference so well?
Although we come to end of road — still I cannot let you go.
You had payment arrangement. Lukashenko did not know.
It’s so haaaaard —
to say goodbye —
to com… rade —
yester… day.”
(Lukashenko hold note for slightly too long.
Yuri look at floor.
Olga leave room.
Portrait of Orbán is still on wall.
Portrait of Lukashenko is also still on wall.
Both are silent.
Fax machine is on.
Nobody call.)
“To Comrade Orbán —
who had system Lukashenko did not know about,
who spend other people’s money on correct people,
who was endorse by Vice President and Secretary of State
who flew to Budapest for him,
who still lose 138 to 55,
which suggest that even correct spending of other people’s money
has diminishing return when population is very angry —
Lukashenko raise glass, sing slightly wrong lyric,
and say: guest room is still open.
Fax machine is still on.
We will investigate together
what went wrong
and how to do it better next time.
There will be next time.
There is always next time.
This is what Lukashenko know.
This is what Orbán will learn.
It is so hard to say goodbye.
To yesterday.
Approximately.”
ПРОЩАй КОМРАД ОРБАН!
SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO COMRADE YESTERDAY.
YOU HAD PAYMENT ARRANGEMENT.
LUKASHENKO DID NOT KNOW.
ЭТО ТАК ТРУДНО — ПРОЩАУТЬСЯ С ВЧЕРАШНИМ ДНЕМ.
