Satire

Satire

When “After” Becomes “Because”

#hhs A revolutionary new method proves causation by removing complexity, ignoring competing explanations, and beginning with the conclusion.

23 Aug 2026 10 min read

Satire

The Pre-Catastrophe Exclusion Standard

#hhs “If catastrophe has not occurred at the moment of measurement, the observed catastrophe rate is zero. This is what the numbers say.” Dr. Shawn Hannity

19 Aug 2026 9 min read

Satire

Reviewer Replacement: Solving Scientific Disagreement

#hhs In a groundbreaking study, we have determined that science is in fact wrong.

16 Aug 2026 11 min read

Satire

Universal Mortality Following COVID-19 Vaccination

#hhs Long-term survival following vaccination remains unconfirmed, and investigators warn that the final mortality figures may not be known for decades.

15 Aug 2026 8 min read

Satire

The Gold Standard of Pediatric Inefficiency

#hhs A groundbreaking new study finds that childhood vaccination may be improved by making it slower, less convenient, and considerably harder to finish. Researchers call the resulting missed appointments “natural immunity opportunities.”

11 Aug 2026 9 min read

Satire

The D'Souza Archaeological Corroboration Index

#dineshdsouza Researchers Eliminate Archaeology’s Remaining Uncertainty by Removing Archaeologists”

09 Aug 2026 7 min read

Satire

Ivermectin Failure in Post-Mortem Populations

#hhs We evaluated 56 post-mortem subjects discovered under conditions profoundly incompatible with conventional refrigeration, sanitation, or common sense.

08 Aug 2026 11 min read

Satire

Rewilding the Human Immune System via Armadillo Exposure

#hhs After adjusting for humidity, patriotism, citrus consumption, and the number of decorative flamingos per household, armadillo proximity was associated with a 312% increase in historical authenticity (p = 0.97).

07 Aug 2026 7 min read

Satire

Spinal Misalignment as a Cause of Fifth Amendment Dependence

#hhs This study examines whether repeated invocation of the Fifth Amendment can be explained by civic spinal misalignment rather than legal risk.

06 Aug 2026 7 min read

Satire

Pulmonary Carbon Sequestration as an Indicator of Workforce Patriotism

#hhs A landmark study finds black lung may be America’s most efficient carbon-capture program, provided nobody asks what happened to the miners storing the coal and silica. ::: ​​

05 Aug 2026 9 min read

Satire

Advanced Decomposition as a Functional Dietary Strategy

#hhs This study has not been funding by the Trump administration, but its findings have been put to good use.

04 Aug 2026 7 min read

Satire

Healthy Until Proven Fraudulent

#rfk Healthy Americans face suspicion for buying insurance without producing enough profitable illnesses.

03 Aug 2026 7 min read