Satire

Satire

Trump Very Nice.

#trump Premier Trump wants a massive Belarusian potash deal. Lukashenko is delighted. Yuri checks the ledger. Then he checks the other page.

23 Sep 2026 3 min read

Satire

Faith Based Reclassification of Weather

#trump The authors oppose evidence that requires public investment. This has had no influence on their findings, because the findings came first.

23 Sep 2026 6 min read

Satire

The Cannidy Rogaine Protocol for Administrative Reduction of Measles Mortality

#hhs “Where conventional epidemiology asks what caused the death, the Cannidy-Rogaine protocol asks whether the death can be made less administratively inconvenient.”

17 Sep 2026 10 min read

Satire

Decentralized Gastrointestinal Governance

#hhs Cannidy recommends that future foodborne outbreaks be managed by withholding definitive guidance until restaurants, customers, social media users, and the parasite itself reach a working consensus.

14 Sep 2026 11 min read

Satire

Vaccinations Identified as Common Factor Before Death

#hhs Vaccination → Something Happened → Therefore Vaccination Requires Further Investigation

12 Sep 2026 9 min read

Satire

A Scientific Breakthrough: Determining Outcomes Prior to Gathering Evidence

#hhs The principal advantage of outcome-first epidemiology is that the hypothesis cannot fail; only the evidence can.

04 Sep 2026 8 min read

Satire

Because side effects become wellness when they come from supplements

#hhs A groundbreaking trial finds SSRIs overly supervised, horse paste spiritually liberating, and raccoon reproductive tissue tragically underutilized in modern psychiatric care.

31 Aug 2026 7 min read

Satire

Achieving Perfect Scientific Consensus: HHS Study

#hhs At zero advisers, no dissenting scientific opinion can be recorded, no recommendation can conflict with policy, and no advisory committee can subsequently be accused of being ignored.

30 Aug 2026 12 min read

Satire

Hungary Dumps Putin

#putin Hungary not like Putin now. Belarus ready to fill gap.

27 Aug 2026 5 min read

Satire

A Study: Why Cancer Remission Requires Immediate Defunding by HHS

#hhs "Unexpected clinical benefit remains one of the most reliable indicators that a research program has departed from approved conclusions.”

26 Aug 2026 13 min read

Satire

When “After” Becomes “Because”

#hhs A revolutionary new method proves causation by removing complexity, ignoring competing explanations, and beginning with the conclusion.

23 Aug 2026 10 min read

Satire

The Pre-Catastrophe Exclusion Standard

#hhs “If catastrophe has not occurred at the moment of measurement, the observed catastrophe rate is zero. This is what the numbers say.” Dr. Shawn Hannity

19 Aug 2026 9 min read