#satire Let’s take this time to celebrate Erika Kirk’s qualifications.

QUALIFICATIONS

OPTIONAL

Per Executive Order
No. MAGA-2026-∞

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL APPLICANTS: This form is to be completed in full, in ink, by the spouse, widow, or sufficiently bereaved acquaintance of a previous appointee. Prior military experience is not required, not expected, and frankly considered a liability in the current appointments environment. The President has determined that loyalty loyalty, legacy, and a willingness to stand at State of the Union addresses constitutes adequate preparation for any role in the United States military oversight apparatus. This unit does not yet exist. That is considered a feature, not a bug.

Question 3

Number of years of personal military service: Number of years married to someone who once attended a Board meeting:

* Per Executive Guidance, column two shall be weighted 400× column one in all qualification assessments.

Question 4

I became aware of this position when: (select one)

A White House aide texted me "you're on the board now" My name simply appeared on the list without announcement The President mentioned it at the State of the Union I was unavailable for comment and assumed this meant consent

Question 5

Please describe your previous experience overseeing a military academy's curriculum, morale, discipline, or financial operations:

Question 6

Which of the following best qualifies you to oversee Air Force Academy operations? (check all that apply)

Led 800+ college campus chapters (conservative) Hosted Kid Rock at a Super Bowl alternative event Attended the State of the Union as a guest Have strong opinions on chapel construction delays Know that America is "the greatest nation ever" None of the above (also fine — see Executive Order)

Question 7 — Gap Fill

The Air Force Academy's Board of Visitors is responsible for advising the Secretary of Defense on issues of , , and financial oversight. Prior boards included retired — all of whom have now been replaced, because the President believes the board had been infiltrated by .

* Applicants are encouraged to leave blanks blank. The White House will fill them in later with something about wokeness.

Question 8

Where do you see the Air Force in five years?

Renamed after someone the President liked Focused primarily on what sets America apart at halftime I have not considered this. I was appointed yesterday. Carrying on a legacy, broadly defined

Question 9

In the event of a genuine strategic or operational crisis requiring board input, I intend to:

Defer to Rep. Tommy Tuberville, who also has no relevant background Issue a statement that Charlie would have known what to do Be unavailable for comment Ask what my husband's position was and adopt it posthumously

Question 10

Should the Board vote on whether to posthumously award an honorary degree to , and should the deceased board member's spouse be permitted to vote on that very honour, I believe this represents:

A conflict of interest requiring recusal A touching tribute and entirely normal governance An unprecedented situation that warrants independent review The most efficient way to carry on a legacy

* The Board's legal counsel has noted that options A and C "sound like they were written by the deep state."

Question 11 — Gap Fill

My appointment directly follows my late husband's appointment to the same board. I believe this:

a)
b) sets a precedent whereby military oversight positions may be , which I believe is .
c) is entirely unrelated to the fact that I now run Turning Point USA, which has chapters on college campuses, many of which are .

Question 12

Other Trump appointees to military boards have included: a personal aide under federal indictment (Naval Academy), a retired general with a pardoned conviction (West Point advisory), and a former press secretary. Given this context, my qualifications are best described as:

Broadly in line with current standards Comparatively strong — at least I haven't been indicted Irrelevant to the question of whether I will serve effectively I prefer not to answer in a way that invites comparison

Question 13

Please confirm the following by completing each sentence with an appropriately patriotic phrase:

America is the nation on earth because .

DEI programmes at military academies should be replaced with .

The chapel construction delay at the Air Force Academy is a symbol of .

Question 14 — Essay

In 50 words or fewer, explain how a career in conservative campus activism prepares one for advising the Secretary of Defense on military discipline, curriculum, and financial oversight. You may use the phrase "it's about values" as many times as necessary.

I, the undersigned, confirm that all answers are sincere, that I understand the board's role in advising on Air Force morale, academics, and discipline, and that I am prepared to be unavailable for comment until such time as a commemorative vote is scheduled. I acknowledge that this form will not be reviewed, the appointment having already been made.

Signature: __________________ Date: __ / __ / 2026

✓ Application Processed

Congratulations. Your appointment has already been made. This form was purely ceremonial.
You will receive no confirmation email. The board did not announce your appointment.
Your name has simply appeared on the list. Welcome to military oversight.

#satire Let’s take this time to celebrate Erika Kirk’s qualifications.

Charles U. Farley

Official Application

Command of the 1st Aerial Division of
Ideological Alignment & Campus Outreach

✓ Application Processed

Official Application

Command of the 1st Aerial Division ofIdeological Alignment & Campus Outreach

✓ Application Processed

Command of the 1st Aerial Division of
Ideological Alignment & Campus Outreach