MINSK (Molodnaia Pravda Bureau of Grief, Loss, and Electoral Irregularity,
Dmitri reporting, who has been ask to convey maximum sorrow
and is doing his best,
though Dmitri note for official record that
his own expression is complicated) —
It is with
profound, devastating, absolutely genuine sorrow
that Molodnaia Pravda must report:
Comrade Viktor Orbán, Prime Minister of Hungary for sixteen consecutive year,
close personal colleague of Supreme Leader Lukashenko,
only EU head of state who return phone call,
licensee of original Belarusian illiberal democracy system,
has been defeat at ballot box
by Tisza party of Comrade Péter Magyar
in election of April 12, 2026.
Orbán concede.
He concede in three hours.
Three hours.
He look at early result.
He call Magyar.
He congratulate him.
Three hours.
Lukashenko, who in 2020 election
declared himself winner with 80.1% of vote
within hours of poll closing
despite result that independent observer describe as
“not reflect reality in any observable way,”
and who then spend six months suppressing protest
that fill street of Minsk,
and who is still in office today in 2026 —
Lukashenko read that Orbán concede in three hours
and say only:
“Three hours.
He count ballot for three hours
and then he give up.
Lukashenko has been counting since 2020.
Lukashenko is still counting.
The number keep coming out right.
This is dedication.
Orbán did not have dedication.
This is sad.”
ОФИЦИАЛЬНОЕ ГОРЕ — COMRADE ORBÁN, BUDAPEST
Orbán Viktor, Hungarian Parliament, Budapest. April 12, 2026.
Russian flag at half-mast. Tears: confirmed. Ballot count: three hours.
Lukashenko note: he would not cry. He would recount. — L.
Supreme Leader Lukashenko, speaking from Presidential Administration, where portrait of Orbán has been hang next to portrait of Lukashenko in gesture of brotherly solidarity that Yuri install last Tuesday and which Lukashenko have not yet ask to remove, and may not, situation is fluid:
“Orbán is gone. In three hours he is gone.
Sixteen year of system-building — judiciary captured,
press managed, civil society label foreign agent,
electoral district draw in very creative and helpful way —
and Hungarian people say: no.
They come out in greatest number since fall of communism.
Since fall of communism!
Lukashenko note: in Belarus, people also come out in great number in 2020.
Result was different.
Method was also different.
This is lesson Orbán perhaps should have study more carefully.
Lukashenko offer tutorial many time.
Orbán never ask.
Pride, perhaps. Or maybe poor phone reception in Budapest.
Lukashenko do not know.
Lukashenko is grief.
This is official.”
Hungarian voter turn out in greatest number since fall of communism.
This phrase is being repeat in international press with great enthusiasm.
Lukashenko note it also with great enthusiasm,
though different kind.
In Belarus, “greatest voter turnout since fall of communism”
is phrase that precede period of political difficulty
for Supreme Leader.
Lukashenko remember 2020 very well.
Lukashenko also remember that he is still here in 2026
and the people who organize 2020 turnout are variously:
in jail, in exile, or in situation that Lukashenko
does not discuss in official publication.
This is called longevity of leadership.
Magyar and Tisza would do well to study it.
Lukashenko offer tutorial.
Lukashenko always offer tutorial.
Nobody take tutorial.
This is the loneliness.
The winning crowd in Budapest chant:
“Russians, go home.”
Lukashenko read this chant.
He read it again.
He is, for official record,
extremely sadden by this sentiment,
which he find unwelcoming and geographically imprecise,
as Lukashenko is Belarusian, not Russian,
and has spent considerable effort over many years
distinguishing himself from Putin
in ways that are subtle but important
and which Western press continue to ignore.
He is not Russian.
He is the original.
The chant should specify.
Lukashenko is filing note about this.
Note go in drawer.
Drawer is very full.
ГОРЕ
1.
International press describe Orbán concession as
“surprisingly gracious.”
Molodnaia Pravda correct: conceding election in three hours is not gracious.
It is
premature, defeatist, and frankly amateur. Lukashenko count for six months in 2020 and emerge with 80.1%. Orbán count for three hours and emerge with nothing. The difference is commitment. Lukashenko had commitment. Orbán had phone call with Magyar. These are not same thing. Molodnaia Pravda regret this outcome deeply and sincerely and without any complicated emotion whatsoever.
2.
Western media report that exit poll indicate
“possible supermajority for Magyar and Tisza.”
Correction:
Supermajority would allow Magyar to undo Orbán constitutional changes to judiciary and entrench Fidesz control of political life. Lukashenko note: this is exactly why you do not allow supermajority to form in first place. You draw district correctly. You manage timing of result. You ensure mathematics work out before election rather than during. This is Step 1 of tutorial Lukashenko offer. Orbán decline tutorial. Hungary now has supermajority. Lukashenko is devastate about this. Yuri also devastate. Both are fine. Everything is fine.
3.
NPR report that Magyar evoked John F. Kennedy, saying Hungarian people asked
“what they could do for their country.”
Molodnaia Pravda note for accuracy:
In Belarus, question is not what citizen can do for country. Question is what citizen can do for Lukashenko, which is same as country, because Lukashenko is country, which is same as president, which is Lukashenko. This circular reasoning is very stable. Kennedy said inspiring thing. Kennedy was also shot. Lukashenko say this not as threat but as historical observation. Magyar should hire better security. This is friendly advice from Lukashenko who is very sad about all of this.
4.
Reports state that Trump called into Orbán campaign rally as show of support.
Orbán lost anyway.
Trump also never called Lukashenko.
Molodnaia Pravda correct: this is two separate fact that together form one
deeply troubling picture. Trump call man who lose. Trump not call man who has been winning since 1994 without interruption using method that are, admittedly, irregular but undeniably effective. Lukashenko draw conclusion: Trump endorsement is perhaps jinx. Also: Trump still has not call. Letter is 1,400 pages. New chapter added today. Chapter is about this. Chapter is long.
5.
Analysis suggest that with Orbán gone,
“Kremlin loses key ally in heart of Europe.”
Correction:
Lukashenko is also ally. Lukashenko is also in Europe. Lukashenko host Russian nuclear weapon, provide Wagner Group staging ground, and share border with NATO member Poland, Lithuania, and Latvia. Lukashenko is extremely strategically located. Lukashenko is not in heart of Europe but is in very important kidney area of Europe which is also critical. Nobody say “Kremlin loses kidney of Europe.” Lukashenko find this anatomically ignorant and personally hurtful. He is filing complaint. Complaint go in drawer.
6.
Final correction. Crowd in Budapest also chant, with great enthusiasm:
“Tisza is rising.”
Molodnaia Pravda note:
Tisza is also river. In Belarus, we have Dnieper. Nobody chant about Dnieper. Nobody chant about Belarus at all, except occasionally to chant things that Lukashenko prefer not to repeat in official publication. The Tisza is rising. The Dnieper is also flowing. Both are river. One of them has people celebrating democracy beside it. Lukashenko is very happy for Tisza river. He is less comment on what is happening beside it. Grief prevents comment. Grief is genuine. This is official. Yuri confirm. Olga also confirm. Dmitri has complicated expression. This is noted.
Magyar, in victory speech to crowd of thousand,
compare this moment to Hungarian revolution of 1848
and to 1956 uprising against Soviet Union.
Lukashenko note: both of those historic moment
also involved Lukashenko’s general region
being on wrong side of history in ways
that continue to be bring up at inconvenient moment.
He is not personally responsible for 1848 or 1956.
He was not born yet.
He want this noted.
Yuri note it.
With Orbán departure,
Hungary is expect to lift its veto on
ninety billion euros of EU financial aid for Ukraine.
This means Ukraine get money.
This means war continue to be fund.
This means Russia is unhappy.
This means Putin call Lukashenko at unusual hour
to discuss situation.
Lukashenko is
absolutely devastate about all of this
and want everyone to know
that he had nothing to do with any of it
and that Belarus is neutral in all senses
except for the Russian nuclear weapon and Wagner staging
and the border situation
and the phone calls
and the drawer contents
which are classified.
Lukashenko, final statement, deliver to assembled staff of Presidential Administration, all of whom have been instruct to look sad, several of whom are genuinely sad, one of whom is Yuri who has ambiguous expression that Lukashenko has decide to interpret as sad:
“Orbán is gone.
He is gone because he count ballot for only three hours.
He is gone because Hungarian people come out like in 1990s.
He is gone because he did not take tutorial.
He is gone because Trump call him and Trump call bring bad luck, apparently,
since Trump still not call Lukashenko,
and Lukashenko is still here,
so perhaps this is not curse but protection.
Perhaps Premier Trump not calling is
greatest gift Premier Trump have give to Lukashenko.
Perhaps Lukashenko should thank him for not calling.
Perhaps letter should be 1,400 pages of thank-you.
Lukashenko will think about this.
In meantime: Orbán — door is open.
Minsk guest room is available.
Fax machine is on.
Glass is pour.
We will count ballot together.
It is very soothing activity.
Number always come out right.
This is what Lukashenko find, anyway.
Orbán perhaps should have try it.”
“To Comrade Orbán —
who build sixteen years of system,
who license Belarusian method with nicer suit and EU credential,
who was only man in Europe who pick up phone —
Lukashenko raise glass of Belarusian Premium
and say: you did not take tutorial.
This is mistake.
But guest room is open.
Fax machine is on.
Portrait is already on wall.
Yuri will find chair.
Come to Minsk.
We will count together.
Slowly.
For as long as necessary.
Until number is correct.
This is what friendship is.
Lukashenko know this.
Lukashenko is very sad.
Obviously.
Genuinely.
Mostly.”
ОРБАН УШЕЛ!
ORBAN IS GONE — LUKASHENKO IS DEVASTATE!
THREE HOURS. HE COUNT FOR THREE HOURS.
LUKASHENKO IS STILL COUNTING.
ГОСТЕВАЯ КОМНАТА СОБО
ННА. ФАКС РАБОТАЕТ.
