The empire took Saturday off from pretending things are normal and went full “late‑season spinoff” instead.

Trump, Still Trumping

Trump spent February 7 doing what he does best: rage‑posting, victory‑lapping the budget he almost tanked, and insisting the media is lying about everything from the dollar to “code brown.” Rallies and interviews blurred into one long applause line about how only he can fix the mess he’s very much still making.

Schedule F: Purge Season Trailer

Behind the scenes, the push to gut civil‑service protections rolled on. Agencies whispered about lists, loyalty, and which jobs might suddenly turn from “nonpartisan career” into “serve the king or lose your badge.” People who actually know how the government works are refreshing their résumés while being told this is all about “efficiency.”

Markets: Hungover but Breathing

Wall Street spent the day in recovery mode after its AI‑bubble sugar crash. The big question: was that a warning shot or the start of a slow grind down? Traders talked “rotation,” retail investors stared at their apps, and your retirement account is somewhere between “it could be worse” and “maybe I don’t retire.”

Wars on Low Simmer

Abroad, the news stayed stuck in its favorite loop: missiles, drones, “de‑escalation,” repeat. Ukraine absorbed more strikes while counting air‑defense missiles like they’re printer ink. The U.S. and Iran circled each other diplomatically, each insisting they don’t want a war while doing everything short of a trust fall to prove it.

Epstein Fallout: The Quiet Shredding Hour

The Epstein document drip kept reputations on edge. PR firms and law offices worked weekend overtime, crafting statements heavy on “regret” and “mischaracterized” while praying their client’s name doesn’t show up again in a new PDF. The powerful would very much like this to be “over.” The public, and the victims, are not done.

Today’s Schtick

So February 7, 2026: a president who treats the state like a content brand, a bureaucracy bracing for purge mechanics, markets nursing an AI hangover, foreign policy stuck in drone‑age brinkmanship, and an elite class hoping their worst scandals get buried under the next crisis.

The Daily Schtick: where “World News, Our Style” means admitting it’s all absurd—and then hitting publish anyway.