The Daily Schtick: Empire on Autopilot – February 11, 2026 Edition

America drifts through midweek like a derelict cruise ship: lights still on, band still playing, hull quietly taking water.

Schedule F: Loyalty Purge, Day Whatever

Trump’s civil‑service gutting keeps grinding forward—new “restructuring reviews,” mysterious reassignments, and performance metrics that look suspiciously like loyalty tests. Career staff who remember pre‑Trump norms are being nudged toward the exits, replaced by TV‑ready superfans who think “administrative law” is a deep‑state slur. The bureaucracy is slowly turning from ballast into fan club.

ICE & The Camera Panic

Yesterday’s outrage over ICE arresting people for simply following agents in their cars morphs into today’s chill effect. Local activists swap tips on how to document raids without ending up in cuffs, and lawyers are suddenly explaining First Amendment basics that agencies pretend not to understand. “If you’ve got nothing to hide…” has officially been retired from government talking points—too on the nose.

Epstein Files: The Spreadsheet of Shame Expands

Another day, another batch of names and connections bubbling up from the Epstein swamp. The pattern is set: a new email, a fresh trip log, a suddenly awkward photo from a charity gala. Each revelation doesn’t just nail individuals; it exposes an entire social circuit where money, power, and abuse circulate like hors d’oeuvres. The elite defense remains the same: total ignorance, partial regret, and absolute insistence that no one ever asked a follow‑up question in real time.

Markets: Anxiety as a Service

Wall Street spends Wednesday bouncing between “relief rally” and “doom preview.” Every small green uptick gets sold into by traders who’ve decided AI isn’t magic and interest rates don’t care about vibes. Corporate layoffs keep trickling out in sectors that were bragging about “unprecedented growth” five minutes ago. Officially, it’s a “rebalancing.” Unofficially, it’s capitalism quietly admitting it over‑promised on the future again.

Foreign Policy: Low‑Heat Chaos

Abroad, nothing is resolved and everything is slightly worse. Ukraine absorbs more drones and artillery while begging for ammo that arrives on political time, not battlefield time. U.S.–Iran back‑channel talks continue in their usual way: carefully worded hope, immediately undercut by the next proxy clash or sanctions threat. Diplomats describe “constructive engagement”; translators quietly note that everyone still hates everyone.

Today’s Schtick

So February 11, 2026 rolls by with a government purging its professionals, an immigration force allergic to cameras, an elite class still leaking Epstein stench, markets pretending “volatility” is a strategy, and foreign policy stuck in permanent almost‑crisis.

The Daily Schtick: World News, Our Style—because if the empire’s on autopilot, someone has to read the crash log out loud.

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