News

A collection of 30 posts

Satire

Hegseth Interpreted for the Sober Impaired

As you know, many of us at Whiskey Leaks and Sons of Liberty are veterans. Even more of us speak fluent drunkenese. We took it upon ourselves to provide this service to anyone who had trouble making sense of Secretary Hegseth's speech yesterday.

Video

Have you ever wondered how much Trump's golfing costs you?

With thanks to our friend, ColdEngine

DHS

Introducing Thomas Fugate, Your Antiterrorism Expert at the Department of Homeland Security

Meet the new face of national security leadership: Thomas Fugate, age 22, whose meteoric rise has left even seasoned counterterrorism experts scratching their heads. In this satirical exposé, we take a closer look at Fugate’s impressive credentials—ranging from grocery store assistant to Model United Nations secretary general—culminating

News

Faux Noise: Is it 2003 or 2025?

Commentary

Red, White, and Brrr: Trump and Vance’s Chilly Campaign

The Trump administration’s brazen and unapologetic pursuit of Greenland as a potential “U.S. homeland” is a flagrant violation of both international norms and the basic respect owed to sovereign nations. By attempting to transfer Greenland’s military oversight to U.S. Northern Command and publicly musing about acquisition,

Commentary

Fox News’s Cowardice: Whitewashing Right-Wing Terror and Betraying the Truth

Fox News’s coverage of the Minnesota lawmaker shootings, particularly their handling of Vance Boelter’s political background, is a textbook example of narrative manipulation. By highlighting that Boelter had “No Kings” signs in his vehicle and referencing protests against Trump-era ICE raids, Fox News subtly implies a left-wing association—

News

Per media reports, Trump to skip parade. Body double likely.

We are unable to confirm this report, but would like the public to know what we know. 0:00 /0:14 1×

Commentary

Interesting revelation out of Belarus

News

Use of the National Guard in Los Angeles

0:00 /2:20 1×

Video

It doesn't have to be like this.

Enough. It's time to act. 0:00 /0:14 1×

Commentary

What Tools Can You Use to Compare News Bias Across Channels? To evaluate the bias and credibility of news sources, consider using these tools:

Back in the 80’s Ronald Reagan was giving a speech on TV and I saw my dad was watching him. I asked my dad, "how can you sit and watch that asshole lie to you?" and he said to me "you need to watch your enemy

Commentary

“Those Who Don’t Remember the Past…”: Echoes of Stalin’s Purges in Trump’s National Security Firings

On May 23, more than 100 NSC officials were placed on administrative leave with barely any notice, forced to clear out their offices within half an hour. This wasn’t a careful, considered reshuffling based on performance or evolving policy needs. Instead, it was a sweeping purge, reportedly driven by

Commentary

Trump’s administration is still encouraging yes men and mediocrity.

Tulsi Gabbard’s leadership of the U.S. intelligence community is a goddamn disgrace. The latest revelations about her office—specifically her chief of staff, Joe Kent, muscling analysts to rewrite their assessments to fit Trump’s paranoid, xenophobic fantasies—are a slap in the face to everyone who’s

Commentary

JD couches the Qatari jet situation in no uncertain terms

Commentary

Meet Trump's new Surgeon General

0:00 /1:46 1× You've been warned.

News

Travel Advisory: Potential Risks for World Cup 2026 Visitors to the United States

As the United States prepares to host the 2026 FIFA World Cup, concerns about the safety and security of international visitors have come to the forefront. With millions of fans expected to travel to the U.S. for the tournament, which will be held in 11 cities across the country,

Commentary

Another day, another Hegseth OPSEC Breach

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. Every time I read about SECDEF Pete Hegseth, it's more of the same insane leadership and again: he is a real risk to our national security. Over the past 24 hours, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has ordered a

Satire

BREAKING: RFK Jr. AND ROGUE ELEMENT OF AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION UNVEIL SHOCKING PLAN TO POISON AMERICA'S TEETH

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the infamous anti-vaxxer and self-proclaimed "hero" of the conspiracy theater community, has secretly entered into an unholy alliance with a rogue element of the American Dental Association (ADA). According to sources

Commentary

Authoritarianism at the Doorstep: When the Government Targets the Innocent

“When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.” Leviticus 19:33-34 What happened to Marisa and her daughters in Oklahoma City is nothing short

Satire

BREAKING: SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM "ACCIDENTALLY" REVEALS MASTER PLAN TO MAKE PRESIDENT TRUMP POPE

Folks, we've got a shocking development in the ongoing saga of Pope Francis' passing and the sudden interest in President Trump becoming the new Pope. And now, Senator Lindsey Graham has accidentally revealed the master plan to make this happen. According to sources, on April 20th, President

News

Trump’s Canada Comments: Just a Headline-Grabbing Distraction

Did you catch the recent USA Today piece about Trump and Marco Rubio talking up the idea of making Canada a U.S. state? As Canadians head to the polls, Trump’s comments are making waves-not just in Canada, but down here too. Let’s be real: Rubio told NBC’

Commentary

Baby Steps Maybe?

THIS is YOUR "mandate", (HAVE YOU READ IT?)  They said "not the plan" because they didn't want you to read it. It worked! Later, they admitted "IT'S THE PLAN!" https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf After reading your

Satire

SHOCKING EXPOSE: VP JD VANCE'S UNDERGROUND EMPIRE OF TERROR!

Washington D.C. - In a stunning revelation, Faux Noize Wire has uncovered inconclusive evidence linking Vice President JD Vance to a sinister plot involving Health and Human Services Secretary Robert Kennedy Jr. Sources close to the matter have revealed that JD Vance, in his capacity as VP, has been

Satire

Exclusive Analysis - We Investigate Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's Response to Pope's Death

Washington D.C. - In our ongoing coverage of the unfolding scandal surrounding JD Vance, we've received numerous questions regarding his alleged involvement in Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's unorthodox response to Pope Francis' passing. Contrary to previous reports, Faux News Wire has found no credible

News

Trump is tanking the US dollar and markets

The presidency of Donald Trump had a profound impact on U.S. markets and the dollar, characterized by volatility and significant policy shifts. Trump's tenure saw a mix of economic policies, including tax reforms, deregulation, and trade wars, which collectively influenced market dynamics and the value of the